1. |
Slog of Days
07:21
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I’m just so fucking tired
I’m just not in the mood
I’ve lost all my reserves
I’ve got nothing left to give
Can you pick me up?
Can you carry me?
Can you pull me through?
Well, can you?
Stuck in this slog of days
Will it ever change?
Stuck in this slog of days
Will it just stay the same?
The years pass me by
What have I got to show?
One day less than before
One day closer to the end
My mind is heavy
With nagging thoughts
With every little worry
With every little thing
I’m afraid tomorrow might bring
I’ll wrestle though this slog of days
It just might change
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2. |
Through Glass
05:12
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Pulling in the driveway
The strange light inside the bedroom
The songs you used to sing
To lull me off to sleep
Letters on my birthday
And visits in the summer
I wish it wasn’t over
I wish it was forever
I see you through the glass
Like a portal through the years
Perfect in my dreams
Flawless in my mind
Memories to remind me
A comfort for my psyche
Fading over time
Fragmenting in my mind
Half of my life now without you
Half of my life lived on my own
No way to get back there
No place left to hide
Still with years to go
So many more ahead
So long yet to live
And all of it unknown
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3. |
This Long Year
05:06
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We once were
Radiant suns
Now we’re flickering
Candles in the dark
Minuscule warmth
To fight against the cold
Shivering bones
Listen to our teeth shatter
You held my heart
And I held yours too
Sustained by the blood
That kept coursing through
You held me close
And I held you too
Held by our word
To remain true
We're losing faith
And we're losing touch
Drifting further apart
Will we get back to
How things once were?
Is this to be our doom?
So this is it?
How it will be?
This is to be our doom?
So this is it
How it will be
This is to be our doom
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4. |
A Crushing Weight
03:42
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I once was so sure
Had you all figured out and in order
Nothing left but a hole
A vacancy that never seems to fill in
Where did you go?
Where are you now?
Left with a crushing weight
On this thing called a soul
I miss somebody to talk to
Prayer seems empty and hollow
It's just me in my mind
There’s not even an echo for company
Where did you go?
Where are you now?
Left with a crushing weight
On this thing called a soul
Hurtling towards the unknown
No map or compass to guide me
Hurtling towards the unknown
No light in the darkness to light my way
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5. |
Exhumed
05:09
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Will I ever live again?
Leave this half-lived life behind
Where I’m destined to pretend
That I’m not some walking corpse
Simulacrum of a man
I wish I had the strength
I just don’t think I can
Will I ever find some rest?
Sit beneath the shade
Where I can catch my breath
Feel the breeze against my skin
Instead of feeling death
Where I can lift this weight
And get it off my chest
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6. |
A Vessel For Pain
07:12
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Tossing in the night
Like a ship out at sea
No longer seem to find
Any rest easily
Listing on the waves
And drifting in the dark
I’m light years away
From any sort of shore
Drowning in the deep
Where the air cannot reach
Down at the bottom
With a burning in my lungs
Completely set apart
In this claustrophobic hell
Surrounded by a silence
That no cry can penetrate
Let me be
Let me be free
Free, free for just a moment
Let me feel
Feel what it’s like
Feel what it’s like
To be without pain
I watched the sun rise
Like blood soaking through the curtains
The beginning of a new day
Blossoming with the same shit
All the trauma, all the abuse
It stays with me
Clinging to me like a malignancy
with no outlet, no exit
I want to lift you up
And hold you in my arms
Tell you where the soul goes
When it finally flees
I want to pull aside the veil
And show you where the love comes
I want you to know the truth
And not worry there’s no proof
I want you to rest easy when I’m gone
And you’re out there on your own
I want to protect your heart
And never have it break
I want you to be free
And sure as feet upon a stone
Never have to doubt
About anything at all
I wish I had it all
Had it all figured out
But I’m just a mess
Coming apart anew every day
And every single day
I put myself back together
I try and right myself
And every single wrong that’s still gnawing at me inside
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7. |
Deathstare
05:23
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Yea, I see you
I know who you are
I’ve seen you in all your guises
I can tell when you’ve been around
You’ve been lurking in the corners
And slouching in the shadows
But lately, you’ve been standing in the daylight
You’ve been right here, in this room
I won’t go without a fight
And I’m not backing down
I’ll sleep with one eye open
And never stop looking over my shoulder
(If that’s what it takes)
I first witnessed
Your handiwork
Out in a field
In elementary school
The helicopter came
They put their hands upon his chest
His little heart had failed
And they couldn’t bring it back
My grandma had a stroke
We brought her to our home
Where she lay dying
In our living room
She spent her final days
In quiet admiration
Of each setting sun
‘Til you carried her away
You’ve been stalking me
To you we’re all easy prey
There is no fight or bargain
That can be won
Who could add a day, an hour, a minute?
That you haven’t already pre-ordained
The doors have all been closing
The paths have all narrowed and converged
‘Til here we are, together in this room
Have you been stalking me?
Or just waiting patiently?
A kindness or a cruelty?
I thought I’d know what it’d be like
But nothing could’ve prepared me
It all comes as a surprise
I shut my eyes, slow my breath, and close my mind
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Fallow Gold Madison, Wisconsin
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